How infrequently does a question have to be asked in order to qualify as an inFrequently Asked Question?

Sometimes never.

I’m an electrical engineer, and I’m curious about your hydro power plant. Is the generator self-excited?

Yes. Unfortunately, so am I.

Can I take a hot spring bath at the Ranch al dente?

You mean alfresco. Yes, just leave the door open.

Is the Ranch a good place to troll for babes/dudes?

We allow fly fishing only on the ranch.

How do I get to the Ranch from central Antarctica?

Head north. When you get to a really big ocean, flag down a ship and tell the captain to take you to the Muir Trail Ranch. Then sit back, relax, and enjoy your meal. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

How did you arrive at the rates you charge?

We copied the prices from a popular Dance-While-Flossing-and-Waxing resort in Texas. But we did change them a little bit to fit what we do. Actually, we changed them a lot.

Do you have a virtual ride machine? Where you sit on a mechanical horse and put on the goggles and plug in a CD-ROM and ride around the galaxy at warp speed through the asteroids?

Actually, nobody asked this question. I made it up.

I’m an action kinda guy. Will I get bored doing what you people expect of guests?

Probably. Bring your needlepoint and your zither.

I hear you don’t have TV. Really? And no VCRs or DVDs or CDs or PMPs or MP3s or or ANYTHING? Really?


What do you DO?!

We talk.

Whoa! Weird!

That’s us.

How much torque do I use to keep my mule’s tail tight?

You’re at the wrong Web site. Click here for

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